At first, I refused to believe it. I was in Twitter at the time. I quickly popped out and switched over to my news sources to see if that could be confirmed. After about 5 minutes of frantic searching and refreshing, the news was proved to be correct.

Pop!

Back to Twitter I went… and then I witnessed something personally for the very first time.

Right before my eyes, I got swept up in a slow but steadily increasing wave of shock, sadness and condolence as the news of this quintessential Don of mega-technology’s passing spread.

I gotta admit…  I started to take it personally! I began to feel like it was a member of my own family that had just passed away.

I was reading random but seemingly in-tuned passages and I was diligently (like the twitter-ite I can be) re-tweeting them along…

And then I came across this one special mention… this particular one tweet by Kevin Smith. It beaconed to me and hit me like a ton of bricks.

I very much remember when JFK was killed. As young as I was, I recall exactly when and where I heard the news. Although he was far removed from my little-red-nappy-headed-girl everyday life, I sensed even then his impact would resound in history.

I got that same eerie feeling this evening. I picture Steve Jobs, his drive and his genius…  as a tuning fork that has been struck against the wall of wonder. It will bounce, dance and resonate into and beyond the future.  WE have been so fortunate to have experienced his splurge of creation in real-time… them that follow can only experience in awe.

Isis & Michel, 2010

My oldest daughter, Isis, is engaged to be married.  The date she and her fiance, Michel, are aiming for is May 27, 2012.  The event will be taking place in New York City.  When I got married, I did not have the opportunity to go through the “wedding planning” stage  (…that’s another story I’ll dive into… but we’ll let it slide for now).  I do recognize that there is a lot of work involved…  and when they got engaged in June of this year I knew this was going to be some very exciting times.  Here we are approaching September.  Lawd…  things are gonna fly! 

Isis gave me a call over the weekend and asked me if I would do the design of her stationary (ie. engagement party invitations, wedding invitations, etc) to which I responded:  Of course, I will!  She has a girlfriend that does beautiful photography.  Over the years, Isis has been one of her photo subjects and the results are always stunning!  Having a fabulous base to start with is a god-send.

Now, between me and you…   this is where clear heads, true communication, the melding-of-the-minds AND the internet comes into play because I live here in Montreal (Canada), Isis lives in Washington (DC) and her girlfriend (Shannon, the photographer) is based out of Atlanta, GA.  Time is short and we have to be on point!

I viewed the latest photo proofs.  Love ‘em all!  My daughter is going for a smoothe retro-theme.  She’s always been very stylish and individualistic.  When she graduated from highschool she set the bar with her stylized Josephine Baker-look (marceled hair et al).  The engagement photos that Shannon took reflect her mind-set beautifully.  This is going to be a delicious challenge.  I’ll keep you posted.

I currently have a 15 year old daughter in the mix.  When you think about the basics, how different are we really?  Out-right, you would not think that there is that much of a difference at all.  My advice to most is:  Take a deep breath.  Often.

I honestly don’t think we were meant to understand our own teens anymore that our own parents were meant to understand us when we were going throught that “stage”.  I know for a fact that I  gave my own parents a few sleepless nights.  Looking back, I got to apologize to my moms and dad for that alone as I’ve come to the conclusion that  dealing with a teenage is most certainly the most vicious and trying of life’s cycles.

My own 15 year old continues to work on my last nerve.  There is no denying that she is a good girl… she’s uber smart, witty, comical and in a sense she is an old soul (not to mention “model”-pretty).

I find that kids these days are exposed to way more than we were at their age and we do indeed have to relate them on a truly different level. 

**sigh**   LAWD… give me strength!

Having listened to great songwriters like James Taylor and Carole King, I felt there was nothing new that was coming out that really represented me and the way I felt.  So I started writing my own stuff.

~~ Amy Winehouse (14 Sept 1983 – 23 July 2011)

Amy Jade Winehouse, an British singer-songwriter known for her powerful deep contra-alto vocals and her eclectic mix of musical genres including ska, R&B, soul and jazz, was found dead at her home in London just this past weekend.

Tragically, she will live on as a legend.  In the shade of the 27 Club, she joins the likes of Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain et al.  In my mind’s eye, having a talented genius snuffed out at such a young age is heart-wrenching.  Oh, the potential.  As shocked as I was when I heard about her passing on Saturday, I wasn’t surprised.  She just seemed set on a downward spiral and there didn’t appear to be any stopping of the inevitable.

Since her passing I’ve been listening to her music on my iPod practically non-stop.  I have the 2 albums… Frank (2003) and Back to Black (2006).  One cannot help but being moved by her lyrics… hip, raw (sometimes kinda dirty) and yet all very sensitive and moving.  I was telling a friend of mine that for a little Jewish chica from the UK she packed a whole lotta soul. 

Love is a Losing Game — Amy Winehouse

That is one of my favorite songs of Amy’s.  Two others are Just Friends and Stronger Than Me (which strikes me a too funny for words… but that’s another story, another time).

I was watching snipets of the Amy’s funeral gathering this evening and it was all very touching to see people some together in her honor.  However, it angers me to a point that with the family, friends and entourage she had surrounding her, they were not able to intervene effectively enough to prevent this tragedy.

Hopefully, for the next prodigy coming throught the racks, this lesson of excessive and abusive substance use with be a deterrent rather than a beacon to follow.

We talk
We have fun
We play with words
and each other

It tickles me
YOU tickle me

I love your mind
I love your spirit

I love your smile

I love to touch you
I love the feel of you

I love when you reach out
and touch me

I love how I feel…
when I’m with you

I love the feel…
when you are inside of me
Probing
My mind
My heart
My soul
My being

Did I say that I love your smile?

I look into your eyes
I see YOU
looking at ME
ever so deeply
That heats me.
Heats me
to the core of my being.
You have no clue

It captures me
Enthralls me
Immensely

Wraps and zaps me
to brain freeze frenzie
And I embrace it
with a school-girl fantasy
Only knowing better
KNOWING
This ain’t no fantasy
It’s as real as real can be

That alone
In itself
Works

I have my moments, babes
You just brought this moment out
In me
For you

(c) 2011 S.E.P.

My dreams of you
Are filled with anticipation
When I awake
my first thought is you

In passing my days
I sense you
standing behind me
your arms embracing me
like a warm cocoon

I take deep breaths
I swear
I can smell you
Ethereal yet earthy

I close my eyes
I envision your smile
It soothes my soul

You are on my mind
in my thoughts
and in my heart

Feeling you deeply
Missing you terribly
Loving you anxiously

(c) 2001 S.E.P.

I thought about it for maybe 3 or 4 blinks of an eye.
Now, I can only talk about me…

Does he slouch or does he hold himself with intent confidence? Does he drag his feet or do his movements echo a manly swagger? When he sits is he slumped over like a gargoyle or is he regally poised like the king he should be? If he’s engaged in a conversation does he give the impression of lacking attentiveness or does he exude an air of in-tuned, calm, cool composure?

I believe in the truth that first impressions are most important and long lasting. People almost always ask, “What did you think of me when you first saw me?” and then it’s on you to flick back your mental rolodex to that very first recollection. Yes, that first glance is important indeed.

(c) S.E.P. 2011